Problems shared
by PT21
Summary: Gibbs is struggling with returning to reality after a job went wrong. Be warned. Rude words!


Problems shared

by Caz

Disclaimer in force

"Make love to me, Gibbs."

His blue eyes looked at me startled, "Excuse me...?"

I chuckled as my eyes glistened with mirth,"You heard. Make mad, passionate, sweet love to me."

He looked away, embarrassed as I studied his features and when he said,"No...I can't." it was something more than embarrasement. It was worry, and shame.

I shook him gently by the hips, trying to lighten the moment once more,"Can't...or won't?" I asked gently.

Gibbs tried to look me in the eye but he couldn't manage it as he battled with his answer until at last, he decided with one, "Okay, I won't."

I chuckled again, but this time not quite so cocksure of myself as I held his gaze, forcing him to hold mine. "Why not, you love me, right?"

He smiled shyly. "Yeah, but..."

I breathed a sigh of relief, my confidence soared again, "And I love you. We're both consenting adults, both free, both horny. C'mon," I cajoled. "fuck me." My attempt to shake him out of the unnerving moment that I could feel escalating deep inside fell flat barely a second later.

I couldn't believe it when he stepped away from me. I missed his warmth immediately and I missed the heat that scorched a path right to the feminine heart of me. Right where I throbbed for release. I could feel the pulse as it pumped liquid fire straight to my aching, begging uterus.

Shaken, I ran my hand down the centre of his back, taking in the tanned tight, taut muscles. The light smattering of freckles across his shoulders. The silver waves that felt so soft in my fingers, and as my hand reached the waistband of his blue jeans, I followed its path around until I came face to face with him again.

His head hung low as his chin touched his chest. His eyes were closed, revealing a perfect line of long lashes. Lord, I loved those lashes, but not as much as the eyes that he was hiding from me. Eyes that would betray his true feelings, his true emotions. His true passion.

But I had to see them. I gently forced his chin up with my fingertip and as I did, they opened. Oh my God, those eyes. Pure, bedroom eyes. Only today I couldn't get him into the bedroom.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing, I...I just don't want to, that's all. It's not you, it...it's me." He tried to look away guiltily but I wouldn't let him. I grabbed his chin, making him face me, head on. He was having a problem, I understood that. I hadn't seen him for a week, but I know his last job had been a gruelling one and he had been quiet ever since he had come back.

It was then I dimly realised that we hadn't slept together since he'd been back either.

With dread, I whispered, "Have you met someone else Gibbs, is that why you don't want to make love to me?"

He was quick to reassure me. "No, no sweetheart, it's nothing like that, I promise. I'm just having a little...difficulty, that's all. I promise."

I studied him intently looking for an answer, for the truth, but it wasn't until he blushed that I realised what the truth was.

He couldn't get a hard on.

I quickly pulled him into my arms and I felt his whole body sigh with relief that he'd finally managed to tell me in his own awkward way. "Oh, Gibbs, why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have helped you. We could have dealt with this together long before now."

He pulled away from the comfort of my arms, but not as harshly as before, I felt the change within him; felt his uncertainty and I saw the nervous way he ran his fingers through his hair and my heart flipped at the masculine gesture; the way his hard biceps bulged along with the action. I had to stop myself from putting my hand on that hardness. He needed to talk, he needed to get it out of his system, and he had made that first crucial step by revealing his intimate nightmare. Now he needed to unload his heart.

I stayed where I was as he moved even further away from me and propped himself against the window jamb. He looked so lonely that I felt my tears well. But he didn't need my tears, he needed my strength, so I struggled to keep them at bay.

I heard and felt the ache in his voice when he finally spoke, seemingly to the outside world, but more so to himself.

"I know he was evil, Abs, and I know he had to die, but I didn't want it to be me that pulled the trigger. I've spent three whole months getting into this guy's face and getting inside his head, three, damn months, and do you know what? He was a nobody, was just the first step on the bottom of a very long ladder and I just trampled on him just to fall flat on my face because without him, I can't climb any higher."

I was puzzled. That wasn't so bad, why was he beating himself up about that? But while I was pondering on that, he continued. "I was watching him as he was calling on another low life, but he was skulking around the place like he was doing wrong. I figured I'd be the good neighbour and surprise him. I stepped outta my position and yelled at him to freeze, but the stupid bastard turned and aimed a gun. I shot him."

The word hung heavily in the silence, suspended in motion and I made one step towards him until he spoke again.

"It was a toy gun. He was playing cops and robbers with the six year old kid that lived there. The kid saw everything, Abs. I killed a man in cold blood in front of a child. I can still hear his screams... Christ! I think I will always hear his screams."

One more step and he was in my arms as my heart broke for him, "Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry." Enfolding me within his great arms he let me soak up some of his grief and I gladly took it from him.

Being an agent was slowly killing him, but he would never give it up, never. It didn't take long to find out that he was addicted to catching bad guys like an addict was to taking drugs. What was worse was that until he left NCIS he would stay addicted, suffering just as bad as those sticking a needle in they're arm.

But at least he had me. I would be there for him, always. Always. Whatever this crummy world did to him he could always count on me to be there, with my arms open and my heart wider still. I loved my man, it was as simple as that. And he loved me.

Which is why he trusted me to lead him to the bed and push him gently down onto it. His eyes never left mine as I followed him down onto the mattress, tugging his jeans off and throwing them over towards the chair. I think he thought I was going to seduce him there and then, but it was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. This precious time was for us; To re-inforce our feelings for each other. Love came first, loving came second.

Coming back to a stand, I took off my own clothes, throwing them onto the chair too. Climbing back onto the bed I lay flush along his length, but seconds later with a surprised grin, I moved off onto my side, pulling him with me. Now we were equal, eye to eye, lips to lips. heart to heart. Synchronicity.

Gibbs pulled me closer as his lips reached and touched mine and I allowed him the small intimate gesture but pulled away before he could take the kiss further. I could see his confusion but my smile quickly put him back at ease. I wanted to talk; to get ~us~ right. I needed to get Gibbs to talk and release the pent up emotion, although I think the worst of it was over when he had told me about the shooting. He badly needed to get that off his chest so now it was time to put the closeness back in our own lives.

"What do you see for us in our future, Gibbs?"

He openly frowned at me, but I was relieved that he didn't dismiss the question. "Things pretty much like they are now. Why, do you want things to change. Do you want me to change, sweetheart? 'coz I tell ya, I'm not sure that I can."

I chuckled as I ran a long nail down the side of his cheek teasing his mouth with its tip. He took the bait, slipping it into his waiting mouth and letting loose the moan at the erotic gesture, his eyes flickering closed as an equally erotic image filled his senses.

"No, baby, I don't want you to change, ever. I love you for who you are and for the hell the world puts you through. I don't know what my life would be like without you by my side. Promise you'll never leave me, Gibbs, promise." I begged, unashamedly.

He watched me intently and saw the tell tale shimmer of tears in my eyes as I revealed my soul to him. Pulling me flush against his body he enfolded me completely within his arms and I gratefully hugged him back, hard.

"Abby, there is only one thing that will get in between us, and that is my death. And even then I won't allow it. I will be here in your heart for eternity, count on it."

His 'count on it' was lost within the depths of my mouth as he plundered deeply with his tongue rendering me senseless and giddy with love. The teardrops that I'd held back finally squeezed free from my lids, running free into his hands as he cupped my face drinking not only his sorrow, but mine too.

This was what I wanted. This was what he needed; Someone to come home to, someone who loved him, and I did, so much.

Somehow I found myself beneath him as he continued to assault my mouth. But I didn't care as I welcomed the intrusion with open arms. I felt my own hands thread themselves into his hair, pulling him closer still, if that was possible.

It was as his knee moved between mine, forcing its way to its rightful place to conquer my body in the only way it knew how that I knew that he had broken that barrier down. He could finally move on past his nightmare, or at least put it where it belonged, at the back of his mind, at least for now. If and when it rose its ugly head again, once more, I would be there to push it away. I vowed I would be there, forever.

I was taken by surprise when Gibbs suddenly moved lower, settling his head between my thighs. It didn't take him long to start up the familiar rhythm with his mouth. It took even less for my body to begin to respond to the intimate kiss.

His hands reached up to caress my breasts, gripping my aching buds between his nimble, long fingertips. I groaned as I reached for the wrought iron headder behind my head and hung onto it for dear life as I felt the familiar waves begin to pulsate throughout my trembling body. Barely seconds later the orgasm hit me with such force that I almost screamed. Or maybe I did, I couldn't tell as wave after wave of delicious, pulsating sexual pleasure raced through ever pore and every fibre of my being.

As the last throws of the orgasm subsided I reached down and grasped Gibbs by the hair, dragging him up my waiting, aching, aroused body. Before I began to kiss him hard and before I could lose myself into being loved by the only that I ever would love, I couldn't help myself as I uttered thickly, 'fuck me, Gibbs'. The thoughts were there, the desperation was there and I needed him deep inside me to fill the void that only he could and no polite word fitted with what I wanted, or how I felt.

At last Gibbs didn't disappoint. He hovered above me and his eyes locked with mine as tiny droplets of glistening perspiration began to bead upon his brow. His lips were held in a tight snarling position, but I knew it wasn't with anger. He was preparing himself to give me the ultimate gift of his body. But not only his body, his heart and soul, too. All three reunited once more for me, and only for me. It was only ever for me.

As he entered my waiting body in one, long, slow controlled thrust, our eyes flickered shut together as the sensations surged throughout us. This was heaven. This was love. Our love. None other could come near to how we felt about each other. Pure poetry in motion.

The union was short and sweet, taking barely a minute for Gibbs to climb to the stars and explode. It had been a long time for him.

Eventually Gibbs rolled away, taking me into his arms as he went, his breathing heavy with his exertion. He raked his hand through his hair and I watched the action, kissing his shoulder, drinking in his own personal scent as I did so. It was a mixture of him and the woodsy body spray that he favoured and I loved.

My heart swelled with emotion, I had to tell him again. "I love you, Gibbs."

He squeezed me tighter, "I love you too, Abs. Thank you."

I chuckled with delight. "You're welcome. Now, any other problems you want to share with me...?"


End file.
